Recognizing the High Traits in Children
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Each child has his or her own distinct temperament. Children under a certain age cannot complete the MBS Survey because they do not yet understand the meaning of the words. Thus we do not have the luxury of FAXing in their Survey and receiving back a Profile Report. Of course, that would be too easy and we know that parenting was designed to be a challenge!
When determining which High Trait children have, we DO have an advantage that we don't have with adults. Children play few roles. Trust me ... a 4 year old that is always talking, is always talking! That one is easy High E.
The other traits are not usually expressed as "LOUDLY" but all are expressed just as clearly, if we know what to look for. Listed here are some telltale signs that will help you to identify the High Traits in your kids.
|High D kids:|
* They will get to the point and tell you what is on their mind
* They will take change when playing with other kids
* They are competitive and want to keep score.
* They can b e stubborn at times... maybe all of the time.
|High E kids:|
* They are very talkative and often speak with a loud voice.
* They love to hug, hold hands and sit on your lap.
* They call you to their room to say good night ... again.
* They are sensitive to criticism and to what people think of them ... especially Mom and Dad.
High P kids:
* They will resist being rushed to get dressed, clean up, do their homework, etc...
* They want to know when.
* They will share rather than fight ... up to a point.
* They do things in a slow, steady, easygoing manner.
High S kids:
* They will ask "Why"... often.
* They are very sensitive to criticism and changes.
* They are careful ... coloring, school work, etc.
* They too can be stubborn at times.
Remember, if the child has more than one trait above the line, they will have the characteristics of more than one trait. So ... now what.? If you have an idea which High Traits your children have, your responsibility is to act on that knowledge.
|High D kids:|
Allow them to be involved in decisions. Be candid with them. Don't constantly "Nag", but rather, remind them of what you expect of them and explain the consequences.
|High E kids:|
Make an extra effort to interact with them. This is important with all children, but it is critical with the High E. Make sure that they KNOW that you love them ... tell them.
|High P kids:|
Avoid putting Them under pressure. Give them time to get ready, rather than saying out of the blue "We’re Leaving". When disagreements occur at home talk about it with them ... disharmony is poison to the High P child.
|High S kids:|
Take time to give as complete an answer as possible when they ask "Why?". Help them understand changes such as family moves, new brothers or sisters, the death of a pet, etc.. Praise and correct them specifically, don't just yell ... explain.
This approach is beneficial at home, but it can work wonders at school. Schools, and society in general, are not geared to individual temperament based communication. If they are not doing well in school, it may be that the teaching style, or teaching environment, is clashing with their temperament.
Appeal to your children's temperaments, both at home and in school, and life will go a lot smoother.
MBS, Inc. www.strengths.com
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